Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
