I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
