if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
