i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
