We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize