help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
