The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
