So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize