just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
