I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
