Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
