Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I am one with the molecules
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
