Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize