its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
