My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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