She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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