apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
