so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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