I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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