Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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