I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
