I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
