Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
