Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
