I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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