Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
