i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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