so that wasnt chicken after all
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm always down for nudity.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
