At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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