i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
