Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize