If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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