3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
