Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize