No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
PANTIES FOUND
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
