tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
