ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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