it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Randomize
