his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
