Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
