he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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