love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
