i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
