She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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