Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
