The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
