i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
