Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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