I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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