Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
