Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
