Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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