TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize