If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
