i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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