I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
